Signs Point To A DNA-Altering Audiophile Vaccine Available In The Coming Months

Some audio/video enthusiasts have been wondering what I have been doing with my spare time since selling my last group of AV enthusiast publications back in December of 2019, or, as I call the era, “the pre-COVID, long-long ago.” Well, I’ve written half of a book called The Spaghetti Sauce Close that is a bridge between new-school and old-school sales techniques in the modern market, based on lessons that I learned in the AV publishing and retail business over 30-plus years. I’ve also launched a “paywall model” online property, called DFS Advice that sells (and gives away quite a bit of) information, designed to help people who play DFS, or “daily fantasy sports,” on sites like FanDuel, DraftKings, or even the fantastically-named MonkeyKnifeFight.com, and want an inside angle to winning. Our pro writers have the tips, lineups and insights that our readers need to win more often than not. COVID-19 has changed up things in the house, with everyone working from home, and my soon-to-be nine-year-old son switching from his uber-fancy private school to Los Angeles Unified School District to get more help and resources with his reading, including a daily tutor before morning Zoom classes. I am working on being less of a fat ass physically, and taking on other physical challenges that are designed to lead to better health. A few months back, I paid not one but two PhDs to help me craft my first resume (one from USC and one from Harvard), which my friends suggest was necessary, in hopes of finding gainful employment without starting another business. In fact, I start an executive position with a Fortune 500 company next Monday for my first “real” job, possibly ever. I know, I know … a corporate sales job for me? (Fill in joke here – or in the comments below, as I deserve everything that I’ve got coming.) But two of my good friends recruited me for the project and they are number one and number three on the national team of 450, and they make very, very good livings with this company. They wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, so I bailed on another, high-profile, local publishing opportunity, and am taking on this challenge. But that’s not the really exciting part of what’s going on in my life in these crazy times.  

A Breakthrough for Audiophile Hearing Restoration?

What I haven’t told anybody in the specialty AV space is that, in conjunction with a venture capital-funded, Los Angeles based biotech firm, I have been working on a secret project. Top secret (until now). Through my golf and finance connections, and powered in part with advances made by biotech firms that are involved with the incredible breakthroughs in COVID-19 vaccines, it became known to me that researchers had made breakthroughs in physical hearing, via a two-part injection schedule (again, like COVID-19, which  could be a total game changer for audiophiles. Nothing like this has ever been brought to the scientific community, let alone the FDA. I was lucky enough to be brought into the fold at an early stage of the project, thanks to some other connections of mine.

At one point in recent years, I couldn’t believe that audiophiles embraced a retro-facing technology such as vinyl, which is well-reported to pack very high second-degree harmonic distortion from the stylus vibrations and extremely limited dynamic range (65 dB on vinyl vs. 120 dB on HD 24/196 files). 100 years ago, vinyl was great. Today, it is very debatable, outside of the “I’m burned out with everything digital” argument. The sad reality is that audiophiles almost always back older, less advanced technology over scary new technology, no matter what the science and fact say. Then again 74,000,000 people voted for a Presidential candidate who, to this day (long after the election and inauguration), denied that he lost a Presidential election, despite losing 60 lawsuits on the matter in dozens of states, ranging from the local level to the state level to the federal level, as well as the Supreme Court. The facts say that Mr. “I can murder someone on Fifth Avenue and get away with it” has tens of millions of followers who don’t adhere to facts. Why should audiophiles be any different? Because there is a game-changer in the form of injections that takes the voodoo out of audio and replaces it.

What if you could inject a modern serum (twice) into your arm with the help of a physician over a period of about two months, and your hearing improved to the point where you were in effect part human and part Golden Retriever? Early tests on a random sample of customers at the West Los Angeles Best Buy on Pico Boulevard suggest that this is actually a reality. When compared to a group taking a harmless solution, the placebo group had nearly a uniform effect in that their hearing didn’t improve in any reportable way. Those who got the proposed elixir that I’ve been helping with could hear not just from 20 Hz to 20 kHz, but actually well above the said high-frequency benchmark. But the results get more encouraging, as the age of the group being tested ranged from people in their early 20s to well into their 70s. Even the older listeners could hear frequencies that they haven’t heard since Neil Sedaka had Number One hits on AM radio. 88 percent of those vaccinated, when given the chance to listen to a full-range pair of speakers playing the new Foo Fighter’s album Medicine at Midnight, reported that they enjoyed the record better with a “super tweeter” installed, which concurrently plays high-frequency sounds from the recording that well exceed the 20,000 Hz mark. To recap, two shots get you (regardless of age and gender) the ability to hear beyond what we ever thought was possible in a human being.

How did the scientists come up with such a medical breakthrough? This is the question that I’ve been asking since the opportunity to be part of this study and project. The comparisons to the amazingly effective and expeditious rollout of various COVID-19 vaccines by the likes of Pfizer, Astraseneca, and Moderna, as well as Johnson & Johnson, is at the core of the science. By no means am I a research physician but here’s how they’ve explained it to me. Using fetal tissue as a base (as J+J does), and with the ability to internally manipulate one’s DNA at the cellular level, the scientists have found a way to, through injections, improve one’s ability to hear full-range audio and beyond. And that’s not the end of the good news. Nearly without exception, test subjects described their increased ability to hear detail, imaging, sound staging, bloom, a “bricky” midrange, effervescent and flowery high frequencies and beyond. From what these men (and, yes, women) report, this could be a medical solution to every audiophile’s journey.

There are some side effects. They include:

• Soreness in the injection area on one or both shots.
• Flu-like symptoms including fever, aches and pains as well as possible high blood pressure soon after receiving the shot.
• The urge to beg for a treat when any Steely Dan song is played – especially those with notable high frequencies in the mix. Think “Hey Nineteen” or “My Old School.”
• 65 percent of all those tested reported that they had the urge to believe anything and everything any and every YouTube.com influencer said on the Internet when it came to audio and video.
• Nearly the same percentage of people suggested that they had the urge to subscribe to an audiophile print magazine (regardless of age, Baby Boomers were even more likely to be subject to the influence of audiophile print magazines), but that urge faded within days of the second injection of the vaccine.
• A majority of those who were tested actually reported scratching their vinyl recordings on purpose but unknowingly. They said that they no longer sounded right in interviews with researchers, especially when compared to HD streaming of the same music. We are calling this the “Technics SL-1200G effect.”
• Use of products like CD Stoplight green paint pens, speaker and interconnect cables with EQ built into them, as well as the sale of Mpingo discs, dropped 97 percent with the test group in the month after the second injection.
• Oddly, if a parent was alive – with the active injection in effect, over 28 percent of tested people moved into their mother’s basement to install their audiophile systems.
• 48 percent of those tested with the active vaccine reported stronger than normal hair growth that, in many cases, resulted in growing a ponytail despite a majority of participants already being bald on the top of their head.
• 72 percent of men tested (post injection) reported purchasing a Dark Side of The Moon T-shirt within two weeks of the first injection. More resources are being poured into these findings.
• Across both genders, non-placebo injected participants reported subscribing to an HD music streaming service.
• 34 percent of people tested overall added a video display to their audiophile system.
• 77 percent of those tested now use a subwoofer in their system, so that they can actually experience true low frequencies.
• 62 percent in the study have added some form of digital room correction to their AV systems. 79 percent have added at least one form of acoustical room treatment within three months of their second vaccine injection.
• 91 percent of English-speaking participants reported that they felt a draw more towards science in their hobby since getting the injection. 87 percent of those involved in the test either own or have recently purchased Floyd Toole’s book Sound Reproduction: The Acoustics and Psychoacoustics of Loudspeakers and Rooms, which is now on the verge of being an Amazon bestseller.
  

Will Skeptics Embrace Full FDA Approval?

The power of being able to manipulate one’s DNA has proven effective in COVID-19 vaccines, according to scientists worldwide. But there are skeptics. Enthusiastic skeptics who, in extreme cases, have AM talk radio shows, believe that there is a basement in the pizza place from “Pizzagate” and often dress in Viking garb without an actual shirt. These skeptics are the ones who suggest that vaccines like this proposed audiophile vaccine are a tool of the coastal, intellectual left, who are internally reprogramming Americans to gain control over them at a cellular level. We found that, with an app that runs on Apple and Android that when playing “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred’s Up album, we could get an audiophile to spend more than $10,000 on any number of component purchases, be they at traditional retail or online. There are those who suggest that giving up on blindly investing in whatever preamp-of-the-month products promoted in the Boomer audiophile press is too much of a change from audiophile norms to be American. One of the leading Mpingo disc and Synergistic Research cable retailers in the nation was quoted as saying, “What will happen to the sales of EQed audiophile cables in the $10,000 and up range if this vaccine was to get full FDA approval? We will all be out of business and I’ve got a new Ferrari on lease for the next few years!” 

FDA approval is nowhere close to a guarantee with this product, nor is there the same national urgency to get it approved that there is with the COVID-19 vaccines. Understandable, it just isn’t as urgent to help audiophiles versus to cure a global, respiratory, viral pandemic that has killed more than 1,000,000 people globally, even if some people of power think that it is a hoax, or that it is going away, or that “14 cases will turn in to zero.” If the audiophile vaccine is approved, there will be a rollout to older listeners first and moving towards younger listeners. There is no data on how this vaccine effects people under 18 years old at this stage, but additional testing is scheduled in the spring of 2021.

The proposed name of the new company is not finalized but the leading contender is Q-AudioAnon – but that isn’t finalized.

I was able to invest early, and there is late series fundraising that could allow for especially well qualified investors to get in on the ground floor of a company that is very likely to go public post FDA approval, which could happen as soon as late in 2021. Investment inquires can be set to AreYouTHATSTUPID@audioholics.com with the header “Attention: Gene DellaSala.”

The initial projected cost of the vaccine is slated at $100,000 for both injections, and there is already a waiting list of over 10,000 people. At this point, it is not expected to be covered by traditional insurance, even by PPO plans from the top insurance providers. The one insurance exception for the audiophile vaccine is the insurance that members of the U.S. Congress get will cover them completely for the audiophile vaccine.  

More news on this game-changing exciting topic when it becomes available.