Germans Break Speed of Light

Germans are always breaking records it seems. This time then went for the big time and took on the speed of light... and apparently won. A pair of German physicists claim to have broken the speed of light - an achievement that would undermine our entire understanding of space and time and possibly change the way we commute to work each day.

According to Einstein's special theory of relativity, E=mc^2 (though Einstein was reported by some to have simply been trying to figure out a way to make carbonated beverages). Given this equation, it would require an infinite amount of energy to propel an object at a speed greater than that of light in a vacuum (approximately 186,000 miles per second).

Despite this, Drs Gunter Nimtz and Alfons Stahlhofen, of the University of Koblenz, claim to have found a back door which proves an exception to the a key tenet of that theory.

The doctors claim to have conducted an experiment in which microwave photons - energetic packets of light - traveled "instantaneously" between a pair of prisms that had been moved up to 3ft apart. While this sounds more like a teleporter than an exception to Einstein's theory, the results are essentially the same.

As a matter of principle, traveling faster than the speed of light would lead to numerous paradoxical situations. If, for instance, you could travel faster than light then you could arrive at a destination before the time you initially left. Travel long enough and time travel would essentially be possible.

The scientists made their breakthrough while investigating a phenomenon called quantum tunneling, which allows sub-atomic particles to break apparently unbreakable laws.

Dr Nimtz told New Scientist magazine: "For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of."

I think the next step for these scientist should be to apply the theory to the transmission of television signals. If a new television show tanks, then we can indicate this to the producers using a special time-dilation mechanism that would travel back in time and tell them not to make the show in the first place.

This could spell the end of bad television and movies once and for all!

I'm going to see if these scientists have an agent...