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Are YOU an Audioholic? Take the Test!

by May 07, 2007
Are you an audioholic?

Are you an audioholic?

Did you know that 1 in 3 people suffer from some form of Audio Addiction? 1 in 3! Of those people, 21% suffer from the most severe form, Audioholicism. Did you know that 82.5% of statistics are made up on the spot by writers trying to be overly clever? Well, Audioholics.com in conjunction with The Home Theater Alliance, AV Rant, and the OPRA Opine Ominbus.Org have combined their considerable resources to bring you the definitive measurement tool for assessing your level of Audioholicism. Be wary, you might not like what you find out about yourself!

Directions for the test are simple: Keep a close eye on the directions on the left. When it tells you to pick one, you can only get points for ONE of the selections. Bonus and “Pick all that are appropriate” directions mean just that. Be honest, this test is only valid when the taker is completely and totally honest.

After completing the entire test, take your section totals and put them in the appropriate places at the bottom of the form. Calculate the Subtotal (total of everything EXCEPT Additional Symptoms) and Grand Total (total of everything).

Here is the breakdown of your level of audio addiction based on your SUBTOTAL alone:

Subtotal

Audio Addiction Level

0 – 10 points

Why are you taking this test? You a hypochondriac? How did you find this test anyhow? Who are you? Get out of here!

11 – 30 points

You have a nice piece of equipment or two, nothing to worry about. You may have visited an audio website for setup tips but that’s about it.

31 – 60 points

There are signs that an audio addiction is creeping into your life. Larger speakers, talks of upgrades, spending copious amounts of time on AV websites digesting information and making comments.

61 – 90 points

Early stage Audioholicism – immediate intervention needed. Spending increasing and talk is constantly focused on gear, technology, or the “new” sound you heard in your favorite CD with your new upgrade. You’re well known on a numerous AV websites and forums and have started hosting GTGs.

91 – 110 points

Full Blown Audioholicism – It may be too late. You’ve spent more on audio in the last year than anything else (including rent). Consider curbing your habits by exiting your home theater occasionally to meet/make friends, have fun, and see the phenomenon they call “sunlight”. And no, inviting random strangers from the internet over for listening sessions doesn’t count.

111-150 points

Hey, Typhoid Mary, why don’t you settle down on the audio stuff for a bit? If you’re not working in the industry than you’ve got a real problem. At this point you are actually contagious with Audioholicism. Should be quarantined for at least 3 months with nothing but an MP3 player and a clock radio.

151 +

At this point, you’ve probably exploded releasing the Audioholicism spores into the internet to infect others. There is nothing left to do but roll credits as the smoke from your burning body fills the night air

“Yeah, but,” you reply. We know the “Additional Symptoms” are not included in the above table. Well, take your Grand Total (including the additional symptoms modifications) and reapply to the above table and count the level change. For example, if you had 70 points before and now have 90, then you’ve gone UP one level (you have one higher level of Audioholicism). If you are now above 151, then each 50 point increment (151-200, 201-250, etc) is considered a new level. Apply that to the table below:

Level Change

Effect

-2 or more levels

You’ve been duped by slick marketing and pseudo-science mumbo jumbo. You need to spend less time trolling forums and more time reading tech articles from people that actually have degrees and stuff.

-1 levels

Poor, poor Audioholic! You’ve taken the easy path to the dark side. Sure, it is fun to think you hear things that others don’t, but rest assured, it is all in your head. Turn back now before it is too late. We can sense the good in you!

No level change

You are either completely unaware of this side of the AV world or you’ve made some good and bad choices. Either way, before you do anything else, do some research!

+1 level

You have learned well young padawan, but not yet complete is your training. You’ve made more good choices than bad and for sure you’re headed down the right path. Your purchases, though somewhat excessive, are not money wasted. Continue your training you must. Much to learn have you.

+2 or more levels

While you’ve spent more on seating than most spend on their entire system, you’ve got some of the best equipment and accessories out there. You are envied by some, pitied by most. You are sage and kind. Take others under your wing lest they be lured into believing that audio nirvana can be found in the form of a clock radio or a rock.

View the attached PDF file below for the official test!

Attached Files

 

About the author:
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As Associate Editor at Audioholics, Tom promises to the best of his ability to give each review the same amount of attention, consideration, and thoughtfulness as possible and keep his writings free from undue bias and preconceptions. Any indication, either internally or from another, that bias has entered into his review will be immediately investigated. Substantiation of mistakes or bias will be immediately corrected regardless of personal stake, feelings, or ego.

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